Anything Lime


In an attempt to improve both my mood and my productivity at work I recently made the decision to incorporate the principles of Feng Shui in the redecorating of my cubicle. Yes, improve my mood and productivity and also continue my streak as that Weird Girl With All That Freaking Weirdness. You know, the girl people love to be around so that when they talk about me they can say things like, “Oh, yeah, a carnivorous plant… I know a girl who’s totally into that. And get this – SHE’S NOT EVEN ONE PART CARNIVOROUS.”

So even though I have set myself apart as the girl who BROUGHT IN COASTERS FROM HOME, I figured I’d bring in a few trinkets – crystals and such – as if to say, “Here, coworkers who were kind of on the fence about whether I’m a total whacked out nut job who wears sweatshirts with cat paws on them. It was probably a good idea to not invite me to your little celebratory dinner party because LOOK – I JUST GOT A WHOLE LOT WEIRDER.”

And now it’s justified when they give me that blank stare, one I saw on Patrick for the first time when he watched my mother wash a jar and put it in the cabinet. An old spaghetti sauce jar that she was going to save because should there ever be an emergency situation that required such a jar, as God as her witness, she would have 19 or 34 or 97 jars for just that occasion. Wide eyed and open mouthed, the look on Patrick’s face was something to the tune of “OH MY GOD – IT HAS A MOTHER.”

My Feng Shui process started with a thorough cleaning of my desk, which included removing dust, dirt and various items I no longer use from my workspace. Follow this with some rearranging of some desk trinkets, some hiding of file folders, some sprinkling in of lemon scent and voila – the cleaning was complete.

I was then faced with a choice, a) pay off my credit card, or b) spend money on rocks. You are left to assume that because I am even bringing this up that my money-savvy mother in law is cringing at the mere mention of my credit card debt. OH THE INTEREST! OH HOW IT’S BUILDING!

The stones are for various things – maintaining individuality, inspiring creativity, helping me deal with emotional baggage and feeling peaceful. I even have one that I place at the edge of my desk to protect all negative energy from seeping into my cube. And it protects in all directions. ALL DIRECTIONS! Now if a rock like that isn’t worth eleven dollars, well, I don’t want to know what is.

I’ve also incorporated a number of other things including a mirror which faces the entrance of my cubicle, a pair of garnet stones next to photos of Patrick and me in the corner of my cube representing love and marriage, a plant (which is not in an ideal location for her sake – she’s very sensitive to light. And also to everything else) and a red box in my “power zone” with an Om on it, which I have filled with sage and lavender. Yes, I know, I’ve turned my cube into what some people might call a crazy voodoo space or something. I assure you that I haven’t gone around collecting toe nail clippings or other such discarded parts to shove in pickle jars with dolls resembling my enemies or anything. But now that you mention it, I do have some free time.