Anything Lime

Jesus: Doing more than turning water into wine

Here he is. For all of you non-believers, this is proof. While at the emergency room getting Patrick’s eye checked out last night, I was able to snap this shot of Jesus performing a miracle an operation.

Patrick turned out ok (so far), though we should have asked for Dr. Jesus.

When he told me last night around 11:00 that his eye was bothering him, I figured it was part of the itchy eye syndrome he gets during allergy season. It was about the time that he was attempting to gouge out his own eye in a fit of frustration that I began to take him seriously. At first glance it wasn’t noticeable, but after looking closely I noticed a small speck just to the left side of his pupil.

We left our apartment around 11:30 and headed toward the emergency room. Whatever it was, Patrick wanted it out! I was convinced that after our many failed attempts to flush it out that it was a scratch on the surface of his eye. Patrick remained in denial on the drive to the hospital.

We arrived at the “hospital” to realize that the destination we’d found was probably some 9-5 office branch of the Florida hospital, which was off site from the main hospital. Thanks, TomTom.

Our GPS system finally got it right on the third time, and we entered the tidiest emergency room we’d ever seen. It was nicely decorated, quiet and seemed much more cozy than the usual white-walled, alcohol-scented places I’ve been. Long story short… two hours, a few strange tests and zero answers later, Patrick and I were getting our parking validated and heading toward the car. He spent a zillion dollars on prescriptions. No joke, the bill actually said “one zillion dollars, please.” We weren’t in bed until three this morning.

My level of hatred for emergency room doctors has escalated as a result of this experience. “It will heal on it’s own,” the doctor told us. “Just take ibuprofen.”

This morning Patrick went to an eye doctor and had a piece of metal removed from his eye. His eye doctor advised him against taking the zillion dollar prescriptions. I want to high five that ER doctor when I bring him the piece of metal that was extracted from Patrick’s sensitive cornea and shout, “NICE GOING!!” Great ER service, as usual.

Mmmm… nothing like the sweet smell of a malpractice suit that could pay for my dream wedding.


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  1. * Mary says:

    OMG Florida. Wouldn’t Jesus be able to heal the person without invasive surgery if He chose to show up at the hospital? That seems like the Christian thing to do…

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 1 month ago
  2. * samueltolmanmills says:

    Freakin’ ER doctors! When Ashley had a migraine so bad that it made her black out, we sat in the waiting room for about two hours; she was near losing consciousness the whole time. Then they ran a series of inconclusive tests, after which they recommended that she see a neurologist. Like you, we got home at about 3 in the morning wondering why the hell we had wasted all that time and money for absolutely nothing.

    It’s infuriating!

    You SHOULD go back and tell that doctor that Patrick had a piece of metal removed from his eye. He needs to know that he screwed up!

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 1 month ago
  3. * Ash says:

    I really, truly, honestly think you should talk to the hospital. It is obviously not safe for that doctor to be practicing. ER doctors are just about as low on the doctors-aren’t-as-great-as-they-think-they-are scale as one could be. They can’t be trusted, and a lot of the time they have no idea what they are talking about.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 1 month ago
  4. * Allison says:

    At the very least, it doesn’t seem like you (or your insurance company) should have to pay for any aspect of that ER visit.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 1 month ago

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