Anything Lime

A day that forced me face first into a carton of rocky road ice cream

I moved into my new cubicle yesterday. It’s big, quiet and the best part is I’m not overhearing personal stories about my coworker’s children and their peanut allergies, or their dying mothers-in-law. Ahh… silence has never sounded so sweet.

A lot has happened since my last entry. Patrick left on the first of his weeks-long summer tours, which has left me and Kya alone together to have some much-needed girl bonding time. It’s been nice spending so much time with her, and so sad spending time apart from him.

It came at an interesting time, too, as he left Sunday and I started at my new position (within the same company) on Tuesday. I figured I’d throw myself into work and not have time to think about missing him. Unfortunately, it wasn’t so simple.

My day started off normal, but ended up among the list of my top ten most frustrating days. Others among them are: the day I got six teeth pulled as a child (all molars, mind you); the time I got rear-ended and then the other driver, who was without insurance, a driver’s license, sleeves and most of his front teeth, drove off and was never caught (to my knowledge); a day during my first summer internship when my boss told me that no, despite having all of my work complete, I could absolutely NOT go home to my father and surprise him on his birthday, and instead I was to spend the remainder of my day cleaning the storage room.

I was eager to move into my cube and personalize it, but the orientation of my desk just didn’t feel right. Which, on Planet Whitney, is enough to make the world come to an end. I asked a few people near me — people I’d never even spoken to aside from being introduced approximately 6 minutes earlier — if they’d assist me in moving my gargantuan desk around in my itty bitty space. (Why there is a huge desk in a small cube is beyond me.)

So we shifted it one way first, but with no avail. I have marks on my wall to remember how tightly it was wedged crookedly into my workspace. So we tried the other way. This way worked, but only because I could swing one end out of the doorway in order to situate the thing. when it came time to scoot that end back into the cube, we hit a bit of a road block.

Me: “Keep scooting!”

Helper #1: “Um… it’s not going to scoot any farther.”

Me: “Keep scooting!”

Helper #2: “There’s no more room. It’s against the wall.”

Me: “Keep scooting!”

Helper #1: “Well, we can leave it like this. It doesn’t look bad. It’s not hanging out too far.”

Passerby: “Hmm… seems your desk is hanging out of your cube a bit… haha. You’re in the hallway!”

Me: “Keep scooting!”

So, until someone tells me I’m in violation of some kind of fire code or something, it’s staying. Not that I like it, because I don’t. And, people have still managed to sneak up behind me, which is exactly the reason why I chose to swivel my desk in the first place. Now it’s just more awkward because my face is right next to a window. So when people walk by and glance over at me, I’m the weirdo who’s staring directly at their faces.

Yesterday I had no computer, no phone and eight work hours to spend. It was maybe one of the most boring work days, which mostly consisted of reading books about Web Analytics and Search Engine Optimization. I did so little work that my boss called my first day a “do over” and made today my official first day.

I went home feeling relieved the day was over. Even my long lunch and trip to the jeweler didn’t make the day seem shorter (I had to take my ring in to be sized). I was in quite a lot of jaw pain (I am due for acupuncture!) and I just wanted to have a relaxing night with Kya. I got a letter from an old bank account saying that I was reported to a collections agency because the account was overdrawn. Interesting, I thought, seeing as how I hadn’t used that account IN MORE THAN SIX MONTHS! Bastards!

I took Kya to Blockbuster so I could finally rent “The Waterhorse.” Make fun if you must, but this is a movie I’ve been wanting to see for a long time. Patrick made me wait until he was out of town to put it in our Blockbuster queue, but I ended up just going into the store to get it for free so I could rent the 2-disc special edition! If Waterhorse movie night doesn’t cheer me up, there’s no hope for me!

Next we swung by the grocery store to pick up something for me to eat for dinner. I got a roasted chicken and some vegetables. I usually love everything about roasted chicken, but yesterday I wanted to pitch that chicken straight at the head of the woman who bagged my groceries. She only put the chicken in one bag, which only offered me half the protection as I usually get on my roasted chickens. It wouldn’t have mattered had there not been a puncture wound in the bag, causing the juicy contents to leak out ALL OVER MY CAR! It would have been ok had I not SET IT DOWN ON MY DRIVER’S SEAT while I was grabbing up all the stuff I had to carry upstairs. A puddle of chicken juice — just what I’ve always wanted to have on my driver’s seat.

Strapped like a pack mule, I gathered my things, ring-less, mysterious chicken juice dripping all over my leg, and climbed the stairs. As I am fiddling with my keys, I notice Kya is licking the outside of the grocery bag. If only I was able to look at life’s worst moments and find the good in them the way she can. Next she started licking the chicken goo off of my jeans. Yuck.

I was so pissed I took off my coat (yes, I need a coat, scarf and gloves when it’s 60 degrees) and threw it into the closet, slamming the doors AND CRUSHING MY HAND!

I decided to make the most of the rest of my evening. I changed out of my chicken-soaked pants, made myself a delicious meal and started a play fight with Kya. It wasn’t long before the fun was over and I was sitting on the couch ICING MY WRIST. We’ll call it a dog-chase-related injury.

It was just one thing on top of another that led me to nearly explode from frustration yesterday. Today is different. Today I drove to work with a towel covering my seat. I’m sitting in my obnoxiously large desk, babying my left wrist and counting down the minutes until I get to go pick up my ring.


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