Anything Lime

and I caught the bouquet!

Rewind to one week ago today — Friday, March 28. It was the day of my friends’ wedding, and Patrick and I had a great time. Well, we had a great time as soon as we actually made it there!

We met Angie and Linnie at our old apartment complex, and they became our first mutual friends. When I left work early that day to hit the road to make it to their early-evening beach wedding, I asked, “Patrick, which side should we sit on?”

Such questions became irrelevant when we missed the entire ceremony because of the Tampa traffic. I chewed off all of my finger nails. Ladylike.

Have you ever, in your life, seen a drawbridge? It was as though my life was in the hands of some cynical cartoonist who was constantly erasing the gas guage and re-drawing it closer and closer to “E” until it was actually below the line. Then, when we’re worried about running out of gas and we’re sweating so profusely that we could have filled a pool for all of the neighborhood children to swim in, that cartoonist erases the gas station and pencils in a drawbridge. We actually turned our car off as we sat on the two-lane, extremely narrow, not-strong-enough-to-hold-a-tow-truck-if-we-ran-out-of-gas-and-we’d-be-screwed bridge. Nice.

We had only a couple of miles to go and were worried out of our minds. We swung into a gas station, bought TWO GALLONS and sped back onto the road. You know the part of the wedding when the actual ceremony is over and the crowd sort of dissipates and people start walking around aimlessly, looking for bathrooms and telling weird jokes? We got there just in time for that.

When the reception started, our worries seemed to drift away as the evening was filled with fun and enjoyment. We ate delicious cake, danced the “Soulja Boy” and had a great time watching the two of them interacting for the first time as husband and wife. (I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I tore it up during Soulja Boy while Patrick watched from a safe distance.)

After dishing out a few black eyes, I claimed the bouquet as my own. Victory.

I got engaged the next morning. I wish I still had fingernails.

I’m now auctioning off the bouquet to the highest bidder.


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  1. * Patrick says:

    Remember when you almost passed out from hyper-ventilating while we were on the drawbridge? That was the funniest part.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 2 months ago

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