Anything Lime

After hearing this voicemail, I used my desk chair to run over my own face

I’m always doing stupid things. Just last week I was listening in on conversations around me to take in my daily dose of work gossip. Just when I thought I’d perfected the art of eavesdropping I fell backwards out of my chair. Whatever, I don’t care. Was it worth it? Probably not. Am I ever going to come to work again? Probably not. Do I have some wicked bruises and scratches as a remembrance of this occasion? Heck yes I do.

The most recent stupid thing I did was during a recent photo shoot for work. I told Rolland, God’s gift to the water ski community and every other community imaginable, about the original article I’d written, and how I had to cut it down to one third of it’s original size to fit the space of the magazine. Dear lord was that ever a whopping mistake I wish I could take back.

“How long is the article going to be?”

“About 400 words, so about one page. It’s a short, front-of-the-book article in the ‘People Who Ski’ section.”

“Why so short?”

“I had to cut and cut and cut. I originally wrote 1200 words. As a journalist, I have to be concise, and I have to write to fit the space.”

“Can’t you ask for more room?”

“You should walk into the production department and say that.”

“Seriously, can’t you just tell them about this story? Sure, if you tell them about this story, they’ll give you more space.”

“I think the magazine is pretty much laid out already.”

“Just talk to someone. Tell them you need more space.”

“Ok. I’ll see what I can do.” <rolls eyes>

Of course I didn’t see what I could do. Of course I didn’t ask for more space. That’s absolutely ridiculous. In fact, I’d actually forgotten about the absurd request until yesterday when I got a voicemail from this man.

“Hey Whitney, it’s Rolland. Just wanted to let you know I left a message for [name of group publisher] about the article and told him how you were upset, how you were dying to have more space and that you were completely disappointed they didn’t give you enough room to properly write this article. I told him how angry you are about it. You should be hearing from him. Thank you and you’re welcome.”

I didn’t call him back to tell him how truly grateful I am. Sheesh.


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  1. * samueltolmanmills says:

    Don’t you hate it when people stick their noses in where they don’t belong? That’s one of my biggest pet peeves. Seriously— one of my goals in life has been to learn to leave other people the fuck alone unless they want my help, because I know how annoyed I get when it happens to me.

    Reminds me of Marie on Everybody Loves Raymond.

    What a jackass!

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago
  2. * Ashley says:

    Yeah, what a douche.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago

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