Anything Lime

I feel as if my whole life came in a reasonably small yet heavy box from Ikea

The song lyrics “Ooooh, heaven is a place on earth” ring true to me each and every time I set foot inside Ikea. If, when I die, I get to choose to spend my afterlife in heaven for all eternity or the Orlando Ikea near Mall of Millenia, it would be the toughest decision of my existence. Don’t get me wrong, I’d probably choose heaven, I’m just saying, it’d be hard.

Here’s a list of all things Ikea.

1.) Things we bought (English): a bed frame, a mattress, a dresser, a storage chest, a couch, a love seat, a book case/sideboard, an area rug, a dining table, four dining chairs, a living room floor lamp, a globe lamp, and three side table lamps. We also bought a few things for our office, a desk with a hutch and a few storage baskets.

The reason I clarified the language for you is because you wouldn’t have understood if I had listed it like this: a Malm, a Sultan Hasselback, a Malm, a Malm, a Kramfors, a Klobo, an Expedit, an Andrea Cirkel, a Bjursta, 4x Stefan, a Final, a Fado, a Mylonit, a Kvart and a Morker. We also bought a few things for our office, a Hannes with a Hannes and a few Bolsnas.

…Oh Ikea, with your Kramfors and your Swedish.

2.) Bolsnas, when pronounced the way I like to pronounce it, sounds like “ballsnacks,” which, thanks to Ashley, has become our family word referring to a certain part of the male anatomy. Thanks, Ashley. And thank YOU, Ikea, for making the experience of furnishing my apartment that much more amusing.

3.) Never go into Ikea and expect to have a person ring you up. At Ikea, self checkout is the only way to go. Even when you’re spending $1500 and it would take you much longer to ring up all the crap you’re buying for your new, empty apartment. Even when you’re pissed because self checkout doesn’t allow split credit card transactions. Even when you’re throwing a screaming fit so that you can do a split credit card transaction. Even when the lazy “cashier” says no and waddles away to drink her sugary soft drink at her “cashier” station. Even when you have reached the brink of utter desolation because you’ve accidentally scanned something twice and need the “cashier” to waddle back over to void it for you. Even when you have to drive down the street to an ATM to get cash out because you are not allowed to do a split credit card transaction. Even when not being able to do a split credit card transaction results in your having to complete four separate transactions. Even when you wish the “cashier” would be accidentally crushed by a four-seater Tylosand. Even then.

4.) It was all worth it. Spending every waking minute for a whole month at Ikea to find the right stuff. Recklessly cleaning out my savings to buy it. Make countless sweaty trips up the stairs to the third floor with these heavy boxes strapped to our backs like pack mules. Building it ourselves with instructions complete with people frowning and then talking on the phone to the Ikea building. And finally seeing it in our apartment. It’s perfect and wonderful and I would sit on another seven thousand couches if it meant feeling like this forever.

5.) Pictures to come!

6.) I splurged on an adorable little Swedish dessert. Partly because of how good it looked, but mostly because of the name: Delicatoboll. Yes. Delicatoboll. Patrick and I were waiting by the delivery desk ordering our Kramfors when we shared our first Delicatoboll. It was as if that moment was frozen in time. We didn’t care that the people in the customer service line were upset because they found that their recently purchased Ramberg was damaged when they got it home. None of that mattered. It was a time in my life that made me thankful to have Patrick be the one who shares my Delicatobolls. Lucky me.


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  1. * Aimee says:

    I love your blog. It makes the distance between us seem much smaller.

    That said…I can’t wait to see these pictures!!

    Love you!

    Give Patrick and Kya my love also!

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 3 months ago

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