Anything Lime

A Flower is Only as Good as its Petals

For the few minutes while I’m lying in bed each morning listening to my alarm sing soft-rock tunes, I think of every excuse in the book to get out of going to work that day. It’s only after the logical part of my brain takes over (damn you, left hemisphere!) when I finally stumble over to my walk-in (not far enough) closet. This is the part of most mornings that turns into a clothes-slinging, bra flinging hoe-down. I toss shoes everywhere in search of finding the perfect pair that matches the pants that compliments the shirt that hides my love handles. This is why when I get dressed each morning, it turns into something out of Wrestlemania. I don’t know why I panic when I’m forced to make a clothing decision, or why when I put on an outfit and know it’s wrong because it “just doesn’t feel right.” But this, and nothing else, will inevitably kill me one day.

Thirty minutes later, the drama still hasn’t ended. By this time I’m crying, nude, face down on the floor with my hair tousled and tangled with wild strands flowing into my mouth. With the greatest of all forces I’m kicking my right leg into the closet door and screaming into the carpeting (not to mention, thinking of ways to exaggerate simple events of my life to make them into interesting blog posts.)

So Patrick, a boy, insists that whatever I wear will be fine. Thanks. I’m glad that your wardrobe consists of 37 versions of the exact same shirt in different colors and you haven’t gained 10 (ish…or more) pounds of fat around your hips since you graduated college. Fine. I’m happy for you. I’d throw you a party, but I’d have no idea what to wear.

So I walked into work today looking most stylish (I’m bound to get it right after 94 tries) and prepared my gourmet breakfast — instant oatmeal in a disposable coffee cup. (Cinnamon roll flavor, if you’re wondering.) And as I was leaving the kitchen, a coworker of mine says to me, “Cute shirt.”

If that’s not something to be proud of, man, I don’t know what is.


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  1. * Kelsey says:

    this has to be the best thing that I have ever read! I am glad to know that the morning tantrums run in the family and aren’t just me!

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago
  2. * Avril says:

    Another morning person!

    For me Monday is probably the worst case in a while … ends up as one of those days when you’re just not happy with yourself and how you’re turned out and wish you’d worn one of the other things you tried on earlier kinda days compounded by a particularly bad hair day due to living in a ‘four seasons in one day’ climate like Scotland!!! It all gets a bit too much sometimes don’t you think? God help me if I was looking for perfection!

    Liked the ‘cute shirt’ incident so stand proud (and good luck for tomorrow).

    Nice blog.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 4 months ago

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